Do it ANYWAY !

I've been wanting to write this post for a couple of days now. I'm glad I could finally sit down and write it. Life is great :) everything is peRfecT elhamdulilah ..

I've learned a very valuable lesson during the past week, and I thought of mentioning it here to always remember that ..

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted the lyrics of an amazing song on my Facebook wall. She said she thought I'd like it. I checked it out on YouTube, and ........ I was speechless;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svPNPZAdc2I

AMAZING lyrics!

my favorite;

You can spend your whole life buildin'
Somethin' from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

I kept listening to the song all day, and for some reason I felt it was a message from God. I was having a hard time with some stuff, and I was about to give up on the whole thing. And this song just came right on time :)

What made me even more surprised is that a few days after that, another friend posted a link on my wall;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0

A woman talking about how she felt "invisible" and that no one appreciates what she does. I LOVED her speech, and the story she mentioned :) and AGAIN I was speechless. But this time I was SURE that it MUST be a message from God. IT MUST BE!

Two times in the same week. The same message. The same feeling.

I REALLY needed someone to motivate me and push me back on track, but I couldn't share what I felt with anyone, but Subhan Allah, GOD is always there :) he knew exactly what I needed, and he sent it to me right away!

I'm soOooooOOoo eXcited about my dreams and the future. I have no idea what is lying ahead. Yes, I'm a bit afraid I have to say, but what's the worst that can happen?! ...... I will DO it ANYWAY ;)

Totally Random

Lying there on the couch in the living room, after everyone in the house went to sleep. I open my favorite Maher Zain playlist, and I lie there listening to the most inspiring voice ever! Oh God! his voice just puts me in this peaceful mood. I lie there thinking about everything that's been happening this week. The first week in college. So far, so good, but I feel like I've lost interest in graduating. I just have a lot of plans inside my head that fully occupy my mind. This is how it always goes; I get excited about something for a minute, and then the next minute whoooosh gone !

I know I'm a weirdo. I even admit that I have a stupid side of me that shows most of the time, and I'm ok with that. I mean I wasn't, but I guess I got used to it. I hate feeling down, and all the grief and sorrow that come along with this feeling. I remember that day when i decided to stop thinking and just go out there and face whatever life is going to throw at my face. It was one great day! walking around with nothing inside my head..or let me say "pretending" that nothing is going on inside my head, and with a fake smile on my face. What surprised me was that the day went perfectly well, better than any other day..even though I was faking it !

But what I really thought about afterwards is, can I really "stop" thinking? blaaaakh! I hate myself when I start thinking. I remember this movie "Peaceful Warrior", when the old man told the guy that he has to throw out all the garbage inside his head. wow! I really need to do that, but I have no idea how! If only there was this machine that you could put on the top of your head, and it just sucks all the "trash" and negative thoughts out :)

Anyway, I think I'll go back to my playlist....maybe that'll take my mind off things for a while :)

why does it always have to be like this?

Just finished watching a movie called "My Life Without Me"...hmmmm it was one tragic movie full of drama, not boring, but not my type though. It was about this woman who found out that she has a tumor in her ovaries and that she's going to die in two months. She preferred not to tell anyone about that, and kept it to herself. She wrote a journal about all the things she wants to do before dying. Interesting! Although there's something that I didn't like, not about the movie, bas in general ya3ny.........why do we have to know when we'll die to wake up and start living our lives to the fullest? she knew she'd die in two months, that's why she went out there and did all the things she wanted to do. tayeb eh ya3ny? ma we could die the next minute! It really annoys me when people do that..ya3ny lazem t3rafo hatmooto emta 3alashan t3eesho sa7?

The good old days..

Oh how I miss those days! those good old days :) my childhood.....Although I don't remember exactly if it was a happy or a sad one, but I sure remember that it wasn't full of all this drama I'm living in right now. I miss life back then. I miss how simple it was. I miss how my biggest worries was how I was going to dig under my bedroom and have a secret laboratory :) and thinking for weeks whether I should tell my sister about it or just keep it as my ultimate secret. I miss how everyone would look at me and smile, cuz I'm just another child who has no idea what' they're going to face in the future. I miss my dreams and aspirations. I miss how I wasn't scared to try new things. I miss how everything seemed much simpler and how life seemed more fun. I miss being irresponsible, dependent, and worry-free. Oh how I miss being a child.....

A story that left me with a smile =)

"I'm not exactly the most prepared person and I usually never remember to carry an umbrella. I was walking to class one day when suddenly a summer rainstorm started. Somehow, on this occasion, I actually happened to have an umbrella and it was my favorite color too, hot pink! I smiled as I walked on in the sloshing rain, enjoying myself in my dry haven, thinking happily that “I've got it all together today." That's when I saw her. She was walking near the admission office and had a bag slung over her shoulder with some papers in her hand. But, what caught my eye was the beautiful baby girl she was holding in her arms, desperately trying to shield her from the downpour. Another day when I didn’t have an umbrella! I proudly went to class with dripping hair and wet clothes. Some things are just more important." -- brandimcline

Thinking...at the wrong time!

I hate it. I hate it when I can’t get myself to sleep. Not that I’m not tired or anything. I’m dead tired right now so I went to lie in my bed, and I closed my eyes to get some sleep. And suddenly, those weird thoughts started spreading inside my head…

”hmmm, what if seven years ago, I had reacted to this situation differently, how would the world be a better place today?”

WHAT? WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THAT NOW, AND WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORLD ANYWAY!?

And then another thought would come up

“oooh I wonder how it feels like sleeping on the other side of the bed”

“I miss her sooooo much”

“How will I change the world?”

And now an image comes up

*a picture of me smiling with a lot of fans surrounding me thanking me for changing their lives, and there’s media everywhere to cover this event*

“I messed up that interview today, duuuh I always mess things up”

“I wonder if there’s someone out there thinking about me :)”

“maybe next time I see him I should slap him on the face”

“I need to go shopping for next week’s camp”

“slippers….yes! I need new slippers!”

“Am I still awake?”

OH YES YOU ARE! STOP THE STUPID THOUGHTS PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK. YOU DON’T USUALLY THINK THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND NOW IT’S SUDDENLY TIME TO THINK!?

Oh sorry. I hate it. I really do. I can’t stop the thoughts inside my head whenever I close my eyes. As if by closing my eyes, I’m unlocking the door to my wondering mind..hmmm, maybe I should start considering spending the rest of my life with my eyes closed, this will help me think more!

Argh! I need to go back to bed..

I got plenty of nothing

I got plenty of nothing
And nothing's plenty for me
I got no car - got no mule
I got no misery

A Frank Sinatra song that I just ran into a few minutes sgo. Hmmmm, another happy motivating song! I love this kind of songs like "blue skies" and "smile". They sure brighten my day, and fill me with positive energy.

Folks with plenty of plenty
They've got a lock on the door
Afraid somebody's gonna rob 'em
While there out (a) making more - what for

I was talking to a friend a few days ago (I don't even remember who that friend was) but the topic of failure was brought up, and we kept talking about how we should "supposedly" try and fail, try and fail, and that we shouldn't feel the slightest feeling of regret everytime we fail. "At least we tried", that was her point.

I remembered then this quote I read once that was something like, "If you keep lying down on the floor, you'll never fall!" haha very true! and Oh my God, I love lying on the floor xD Isn't it the best thing to do!? Why bother and get up? to fall!? how stupid is that? :D Just like what Sinatra said, when you have plenty of nothing, all you can lose is nothing, haha!

I know I'm talking nonsense right know, and that's so not me..but hey, I guess it's time to lie on the floor for a while, and watch the stars and the skies :) till I have the strength to get up and move on..

I got no lock on the door - that's no way to be
They can steal the rug from the floor - that's OK with me
'Cause the things that I prize - like the stars in the skies - are all free

Misery

I can't stop listening to the same song since yesterday. I'm not just listening to it, I feel like I'm living inside the song. And what is really weird is that it doesn't apply to me.......oh wait, maybe it does!!!

It just feels good having this song on repeat, and sighing every time the song starts playing. It's a sad song, and I can't help but getting all the negative energy transfered from the song to my soul. A few tears start slipping from my eyes, and I feel miserable. Not sure where this misery comes from. The song is either a magical song casting me under its spell, or I'm simply very stupid.

I turn off this miserable song, and play my favorite happy song that always cheers me up whatever my mood is. But still. I feel the misery all over the place. It's not just in me. Everything is miserable around me. MISERY IN THE AIR. ummmm and I think I kind of like this feeling .... I decide to play the sad song again. I'm enjoying the pain. I want to sit there in the dark and feel sorry for myself.

Me, myself, I, and the misery .........

Self-Discpline !

Self-Discipline! This topic that I’ve been running into a lot lately, or let me say, this word that has been stalking me lately, as if trying to draw my attention that it’s time for a change.

Self-Discipline! From what I read, it says that we have different selves. Some of them are in contrast with each other, resulting in what they call “Inner Conflict”. One part of you may want you to work and be productive, while the others want you to lay back, be lazy, and have fun.
Hmmm I didn’t have to wonder much about myself, my lazy self always wins!

They say it’s not about YOU not wanting to do a certain thing, it’s just “a part” of you doesn’t want to do this thing, there’s another part that WANTS to do it. Your mission is to bring those two parts in harmony..

Another interesting thing I’ve read is that all our lives we are told what to do by our parents, teachers, professors and bosses. By the time we get the first chance to tell ourselves what to do, our “self-discipline muscle” is weak, because it hasn’t been exercising for long !

I'm planning to post another post talking about techniques to become self-disciplined, and I'd be more than glad if whoever comes across this page wants to share any useful techniques :)

Sources:
Self-Discipline in 10 Days.
The Road Less Traveled.

My Perfect Island..!

I open my eyes to find myself trapped on an island, and I don’t even know how I arrived there. I want to stay there, having something inside me assuring me that that’s the right place where I should be. It starts getting dark, and I start to wonder if I’m doing the right thing, standing there, waiting for something I don’t even know. I know the light is coming. I can feel it! I’ll wait. It’s going to show up. I believe! I keep waiting, but all I can feel is that it’s getting darker and darker. I start questioning the stars and talking to the moon. I look around, nothing but palm trees and sand. What did I expect anyway? It’s just a damn island! No, it’s NOT “just a damn island”. It’s different. It’s the perfect island I’ve always dreamt of living on. I finally got there, but how? Oh yes, now I remember. I made a wish, and it came true! And this is when I started doubting my dreams. Is this really what I wanted? YES, don’t you remember? You always wanted to live on the perfect island, and here you are! What’s wrong with you? Nothing, I just don’t feel comfortable here as I thought I would. It’s dark! And I’ve been waiting for the light to come for so long! Where’s the light? I look through the dark blue sea water to see my own reflection, and I start screaming at it “Where’s the light?” It just dumbly stares back at me, and doesn’t say a word. I raise my head up to the sky “Oh lord! I didn’t know it would be like that, it’s not the perfect island I wanted, there’s no light! Please please take me back to my small house, it would be better to live there in the light, than here in the dark. Oh lord! Please please!” I close my eyes, and keep praying silently from all my heart. I open my eyes to find myself lying on my bed in my small bedroom and I can see the sun rising through my bedroom window. I run to the window and smile ! Was that a dream? Or did it really happen? It felt so real! Anyway, I’m glad I’m back. I just love my house! However, I still believe that I will find the perfect island one day, and that it would be glowing with light ….

One Word - Action

“Every action in the universe has an impact on every being in that universe, or so our quantum scientists would have us believe”

I found this statement on a blog I was reading. Oh my God! If that is true, just imagining that every action you take, it’s not as simple as you think it is, nor as huge as you think lol, it’s MASSIVE, ENORMOUS, GIGANTIC and even mooooore! You can have an impact on every human being in the universe, just by taking action!