4:32am .. not really sure what I'm writing here, just felt the urge.

You know when you have a loooot to tell your best friend, but you keep it to yourself just because your best friend did something annoying and you're like punishing them for what they did by not sharing what you had to share? Well .. that's the case between me and the world. I have a lot to tell the world. However, I'm not saying anything! -.-

Not depression, no. I'm off that a long time ago. I'm just mad! Maybe not at the world, but more of mad at myself .. but I won't admit that, no.

Two thoughts;

When you finally decide to give up on something, and feel it's the right decision you've taken in years. That feeling of letting go, of starting over, of being mature, ... is just awesome.

When God sends you a blessing, and you do the same mistake all over again. You just have to hold up to the results of your insanity then.

Missing the truest feeling I've ever felt .. Was it even true?

I miss you .. I really do.

How awesome really, me writing in this blog every day just as I had planned, lol !

Crazy things happening all around. I need to pause the world and take a deep breath to be able to continue living in this insane world.

Yesterday, I realized how God always has better plans than the ones we set for ourselves. I love the unpredictability of what's coming next! :-)

I've decided to write at least one thing on this blog everyday, based on an article I've read, about how to improve your writing skills. I wonder if just writing everyday really would improve my writing, or would it just make me super at bad writing lol let's try and see.

The thing I want to write about in this post, is based on a situation I've been through today. I learned two things.

First, don't try to know something that you shouldn't know, because usually you won't end up happy after knowing, plus it makes you do unethical things to figure out what you want to know. Duuh! It's not worth it.

Second, "Transparency". I want to promise myself to always be transparent, if I ever become a manager. I hate managers who just keep twisting things around just to get things done. Why can't they just be clear and direct? Ugh!

Life is hard.

I remember you, so I smile .. then I remember what happened, and the smile fades away ..

I hate being attached. I wish I can free myself from all those attachments. Actually, it's only one thing I wish I can detach from ..

Gone.

The most precious thing I've ever had in my life.

It hurts.

No, it kills.

My life doesn't make sense anymore.

I wish I could start over. Oh, I wish !

a single false thought mistaken as being true.

I'll never forgive myself for this one. Ever.

I suck, and I rock at it !

Death! I'm not really afraid of you, not if you're coming for me .. I'm afraid of you if you come for someone I love. Terrifying!